Pallavi Dhawan was heartbroken after being accused of murdering her son.
By Sujeet Rajan
NEW YORK: In a year where multiple wars sprung across the globe killing thousands of innocent civilians, gruesome beheadings, beastly gang rapes and scores of people vanishing on a plane, the tragic death of a 10-year-old boy in Frisco, Texas, Arnav Dhawan, in January, and the suspected suicide of his parents, Pallavi and Sumeet Dhawan, at their home a few days ago, may not rank high enough on the shock scale for most people.
But it’s undeniably one of the most sad, bizarre and worst tragedies ever to strike the Indian and Indian American community, in the US. It brings at once to the fore the great cultural divide that exists between India and the US, the acute difficulty some immigrants from India face when they try to recreate a familiar world which collides with reality and laws of their adopted land.
The age of derision of immigrants and people of origin from India, with expressions like FOBs (Fresh off the Boat), and ABCDs (American Born Confused Desis) are long gone, as archaic as tape recorders, ridiculous in an age where it’s the Indians who are making the super computers at Apple and the next gen bots.
But, the scorn and contempt are more insidious now.
As the community spreads its wings, grow in numbers, the scorn and condemnation is more for way of life: adherence to customs, rituals, and food – and for those who may take the latter skeptically, ask your White neighbors next time around how they much they love Indian food at an Indian restaurant versus having to take in the smell of Indian food emanating from your house. Forget the agarbattis and the pujas, which are only a mild irritant.
And it’s in this cultural divide, where two worlds collide to leave a chasm, unfathomable as it’s unbridgeable, that Pallavi and Sumeet Dhawan fell into; their souls have gone to meet their son, Arnav’s.
Reports in the local Frisco media say that the two died sometime over the Labor Day weekend, although the police discovered the bodies on Wednesday, when a relative went over to check on them, after they didn’t respond to calls and messages. Pallavi’s body was found in the swimming pool on the grounds of the house. Sumeet’s body was found inside the house. The police have identified the bodies, but have yet to disclose details of how the two died. Most reports suggest suicide as the likely cause of death.
The couple were going through, as Sumeet was quoted saying recently, “a nightmare” since their son died in February. Pallavi was accused of murdering her son – despite medical evidence and an autopsy which suggested that the boy died of natural causes at home. The case, instead of being dismissed, continued to progress because of an aggressive prosecution. It was soon coming up before a Grand Jury, which would decide her fate.
Sumeet had recently testified for three hours before the Grand Jury, to prove that his wife would never commit such a crime, because she loved her son, had left a career as a computer programmer to take care of him. Arnav suffered from brain cyst and microcephaly, a condition characterized by a small head circumference, had special needs. Pallavi had written that “Arnav’s needs always came first for me.”
The couple had in fact, lived in America for several years, and then gone back to India in 2007. Arnav was born in Madison, Wisconsin, in March, 2003. In 2012, the family came back to the US, this time to Frisco, Texas, only for the sake of their child, who they realized would get the best medical attention here, instead of in India. Sumeet’s job had him traveling a lot. Pallavi stayed at home to take care of the boy.
But perhaps, even as the law enforcement in Frisco doggedly pursued the case of Arnav’s death, tried to put the noose around Pallavi’s neck for a crime which she may not even have contemplated, forget committed, something got lost in all that aggressiveness: the devastating loss for parents whose only child had died tragically, leaving them to face life with a brooding mind and heavy heart, replete with misery, unbearable sadness.
And perhaps when the public trial, castigation went on for the parents -the police and prosecution would not even disclose what evidence they had to suspect the mother of murder – it dawned on Pallavi and Sumeet Dhawan that they were slowly being coerced to not only grieve for their son who was allegedly murdered, but face an even more devastating reality: that Pallavi may actually be convicted for a crime she did not commit, be on death row. They knew that they loved their son more than anything else in this world. But perhaps, the world didn’t know that, didn’t care for that.
Earlier in the year, the couple had appeared together at a memorial for their son in front of their house. There, with the world watching them, they lost control, sobbed inconsolably, held onto one another.
Arnav Dhawan’s decomposing body was discovered at home by the police on January 29. Reportedly, police said Pallavi nodded her head when asked if she had killed the boy at that moment – an allegation her lawyer vehemently denies. There was no video-taping, voice-taping or a written confession.
Reports said Pallavi told authorities her son had died unexpectedly in the middle of the night. She then placed his body in the bathtub along with ice-filled plastic bags. Her intention, she said, was to preserve her son’s body until her husband returned home from a business trip in India so he could perform the necessary Hindu rituals. She apparently didn’t want her son to be consumed to the flames at a funeral house without her husband being present.
Later on, the Collin County medical examiner could not determine a cause of death but ruled it was probably due to “natural disease.” The prosecution, and the police however, didn’t buy that. They stuck with their plans to convict Pallavi, convinced she had strangulated her son.
The police said when Sumeet came home, Pallavi left home, and checked in briefly into a hotel, and then back home.
Who knows, but one can only guess that maybe Pallavi had decided that once her husband came home, she would go and commit suicide, afraid to face the accusation from Sumeet that she had failed in her duties as a mother to protect her son. And maybe, she came back home, thinking that there was nobody else for Sumeet, if she also died. She came back to help him grieve, recover. A special needs son makes couples usually stronger in their own relationship.
But the couple didn’t reckon with the prosecution and the police, and their aggressiveness, lack of regard for their feelings and emotions, their grief.
Dallas attorney David Finn, who represented Pallavi Dhawan, was quoted as saying by the Dallas News, of the Dhawans: “These were gentle, good, decent people. To me it’s a personal loss.” He added: “I can’t see Sumeet hurting her, and I can’t see Pallavi hurting him.”
Finn said Pallavi will never get a chance to clear her name and the case will be left hanging.
“We’ll never know,” he said. “They were very gentle souls and they were in an impossible situation.”
ABC’s local affiliate WFAA reported that Finn spoke also with Pallavi’s mother in India: ”I said, ‘Look, I really got to know your daughter and she was a very kind soul,'” Finn said. “She said, “Funny, you should mention that because when they were living here there would be dogs that were malnourished and Pallavi took them in and fed them and gave them away for adoption.'”
The Frisco police and prosecution had in their evidence against Pallavi, brought out a note which they found in her handwriting: “DNR, DNR, DNR” In medical terms, that acronym usually translates to ‘Do Not Resuscitate.”
Perhaps, all it meant was “Do Not Rest”. After all, she had a son to take care of.
But it’s time for Pallavi and Sumeet Dhawan to rest now, removed from the unjust trials and tribulations, free of being pursued for answers, to be once again with their beloved son, Arnav.
RIP.
(Sujeet Rajan is the Editor-in-Chief of The American Bazaar)
7 Comments
This is not the only ‘suspicious’ death of Indian being reported in the states – earlier there were reports of several Indian students from Andhra Pradesh dying mysteriously in ‘accidents’ and ‘drowing’ incidents despite them being healthy and careful! Something is fishy here!
No matter what angle or whose angle you look at, this story, is a tragic ending to an Indian American dream. This child had a known medical condition and died from that condition. The mother panicked and what she did to that body, had cultural and religious connotations but for the Frisco cops, who are neither exposed nor sensitive to this cultural diversity, it reeked of a homicide and a coverup. A simple “nod” that had different meanings in different cultures, amounted to a confession to them. The stress and the stigma took a toll on the mother and it probably divided the otherwise happy couple, who by all accounts loved their only son. R.I.P.
Such a simple fact in US everyday, why do you guys make it so complicate to search for what? Another justification for Texas justice? Or US justice?
Haven’t we learned enough already in US?
“Everyone is innocent until he or she is proved guilty…” is for the white majority. Yes, white only.
The rest of minority? You are guilty until you prove innocent.
Learn grammar. The opening paragraph is the worst run-on sentence I’ve ever seen. You’re not supposed to write the same way that people speak; there are rules to follow. This is embarrassing for an “editor-in-chief.”
So sad to hear this story. Its a tragedy that Frisco Police went on with their investigation to humiliate and suffocate this couple. This is mind boggling. It appears that the prosecution had an ego problem with this case or worse wanted to punish the Indian parents for whatever reason. If medical examiner is saying inconclusive or died of natural causes, what interest Frisco Police had in getting her nailed??
I wonder some civil rights or Indian group is examining this case carefully and preparing to sue this incompetent Frisco Police dept.
Pallavi most likely murdered her husband. Lets get real. I’m an Indian
man born and raised in
the US for 35 plus years, and I am telling you right now that when an
educated
woman of Indian descent who used to work for NASA (of all places) claims
that she shook her head from side to side to indicate that she meant
“no” when the police asked her if she killed her son, its complete B.S.
from her. While there was a rally of Indian people supporting her, there
was a rally of Indian people on the other side telling her to stop
utilizing Indian customs to get her out of this mess. I don’t think she
is guilty of killing her son, but I do believe both the husband and wife
were guilty of handling
this situation so stupidly. Rather than mourn their son, they chose to
hire that Al Sharpton wannabe David Finn who then exploited this couple
and the emotions of the Dallas Indian community for his own gain. There
are two things any and all immigrants know once they come to this
country. 1) Red means stop, green means go, & 2) If a police officer
asks you if you killed someone, and you didn’t, simply say one word –
“no”.
She was grief stricken, how do you expect her to handle the situation well? She used to be a close friend of mine and she was the sweetest person ever. The fact that you are criticizing a dead lady who lost her son is sad. Imagine how she felt when the stupid Frisco police found her suspicious of committing the murder. I think if they committed suicide it was because of the pressures of people accusing them like you. The police department also probably had a big impact on this. I think its terrible that people think Pallavi committed any kind of crime. This case just shows the racism of the police force and how they can’t be trusted.