Mr. Perfectionist’s new role.
By Bada Jasoos
WASHINGTON, DC: It should have been easy enough to guess when the poster of Aamir Khan came out, him in the full Monty, with a trumpet as cover, with a weird expression, as if he had lost his nuts.
And then came those trailers and songs of his, scurrying after girls, trying to molest them unabashedly in broad daylight with a wild eyed zombie-look. His fixation for Anushka Sharma, in the song ‘Love is a Waste of Time’. That song also happens to be the new motto of the Letchers Association of India, who are recruiting new members all over India.
Folks, here’s finally the story of PK for those who didn’t already know: the plot of PK revolves around the character of Aamir Khan, a sexually deprived alien from outer space, who descends on Earth in search of two people, P and K.
Another curious thing about the film, which director Raj Kumar Hirani has written and directed to be a perfect failure, after getting suffocated with all his successes, is that Mr. Perfectionist Aamir Khan has only one solid dialogue in the entire film: Tum PK? (You drunk?) to which, Anushka retorts: “Nahi baba, main PK nahin baat kar rahi (No dear, I’m not talking after being drunk).
Towards the end of the film, in sheer exasperation, she asks the character of Aamir: ‘Yeh PK Kya hain? (What is this PK?). To which Aamir finally breaks out into a wide-eyed zombie smile, his first in the film, and says in a soft voice: ‘Priyanka-Kareena.’
It seems, living on a far-away planet, Aamir Khan fell in love with not one earthling, but two: Priyanka Chopra and Kareena Kapoor, and comes searching for them. And when he couldn’t find them, be breaks out into a song” Love is a Waste of Time.’
We will not tell you good folks the climax of the film, as that is for you to discover. Hint: a man is seen flying away into outer space with three women alongside him.
Well, The American Bazaar managed to get the script of PK from Hirani’s house, which he had secretly hid in his liquor cabinet at home. He had actually written the script very drunk, thus the title ‘PK’. When he got sober, he gave it a little twist.
It was quite a tussle for us to get the script, as Hirani came down suddenly for his daily fix of ‘Chaar Botel Vodka’ which he got into the habit of imbibing after watching Yo Yo Honey Singh perform, and found us instead. He got rightfully enraged, a tough scuffle and struggle ensued. But finally we managed to pry it out of his hands and consoled him by giving him in exchange, the script for Munnabhai MD.
Last we saw Hirani, he was climbing the stairs to his room with an armload of Vodka bottles, and was heard mumbling that nobody disturb him, as he is going to lock himself in his room for five years, to hone the script we gave him.
Good luck with anybody who comes looking for Hirani at the premiere of PK.