Wiccan witch charges $200/hour to help ‘possessed’ tech companies in Silicon Valley

Supernatural troubleshooting involves charms for computers.

By Raif Karerat

WASHINGTON, DC: If your Silicon Valley startup’s hardware is giving you so much grief, you think it might be possessed, who you gonna call?

If you truly believe supernatural forces may be at work, you’d probably be dialing Reverend Joey Talley — a Wiccan witch from the San Francisco Bay Area who claims to solve supernatural issues for techies.

Supernatural troubleshooting in the tech sector has even attracted the attention of certain bigwigs from companies such as Salesforce, Facebook, and Apple, revealed SF Weekly.

“Most people want me to protect their computers from viruses and hacks,” she told the West Coast publication. “So I’ll make charms for them. I like to use flora.” And when there are problems in office hardware, Talley turns to “Jet,” a black stone that serves to block energy. In extreme cases, she casts protection spells of her own creation over the entire company.

Talley recounted one particular tale to SF Weekly, when a startup’s office alarm would sound off at all hours of the day, and no one deduce why. After multiple electricians failed to solve the problem, the company called in Talley. “I got the spirit out,” she said.

Talley may make a living by flaunting her mystic capabilities, but the witch of Marin County also boasts three master’s degrees and over 40 years of technical experience, revealed Business Insider. Talley’s website says she welcomes issues too unusual or dangerous to take the straight world of Western helpers, all for the somewhat lofty charge of $200 per hour.

One Comment

  1. Not a very well-researched article. The term “Wiccan witch” is somewhat confusing; Wicca is a form of modern witchcraft developed in the UK in the 1950s. And “Jet” is a common semiprecious stone; why is it capitalized and in quotes?

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