Maneka Shewa, 34, and Mayur Thakarar, 37, got married last year.
AB Wire
The courtship of an Indian American couple, Maneka Shewa, 34, and Mayur Thakarar, 37, was featured on FYI’s “Arranged” – a reality TV series that over 11 episodes follows couples who’ve decided to wed with a lot more than the typical amount of family and tradition involved – earlier this month.
Shewa had been married before, for love, the marriage soon ended in divorce, reported the Orange County Register.
“And then I had gotten engaged again for love and that didn’t really work out either,” says the 34-year-old real estate agent and clothing designer from Newport Beach, California. “So my parents were like, ‘You know what, we need to decide for you. We need to be involved. I said, ‘You know what, I’m a strong girl, but I could use the help. So go ahead before I fall in love with this guy or date him anymore.’”
That person was Thakarar, whom she’d met in July 2014 when he hired her to work at Keller Williams Newport Estates. And if Thakarar and Shewa had simply let their parents oversee and approve their marriage – as their own marriages had been arranged by their parents years earlier in India – well, that would have been that.
“I wanted to share our culture and how we do things in the world,” Shewa says, describing how a friend on Facebook connected her with a casting director for “Arranged,” reported the Register. “Our culture is getting more popular, and having gone through some struggles myself, I wanted to say there’s another way.”
Given that Shewa and Thakarar met and became friends on their own, they’re aware their story might not fit the idea some people have of arranged marriages.
“I think the traditional sense of arranged is a little bit outdated,” Thakarar says. “People think your parents find (your future spouse), and that’s how your marriage partner is selected. Living in America in a new day and age, we knew each other. However we could not pursue the marriage without the approval of our parents.”
He added: “We were barely allowed to go to lunch. I had to meet her mom, her dad, her entire extended family. Close to a dozen people. And she had to meet my mom and my family.”
They say they believe their kind of arranged marriage benefited them from the start because they knew their mates and families were compatible.
“I think it’s really good the way we did it,” Thakarar says. “You can meet the person that you want to be with, but you end up marrying the family. You might as well meet them and be sure you’re a good match.”
Adds Shewa: “I trust my parents’ decision. And he’s right, you marry the family. So I do have to trust what they’re saying.”
The engagement went smoothly and fast. One small bit of drama in the first episode involved Shewa’s parents’ hesitation at Thakarar’s heritage from a different part of India – his family is Gujarati – from their own background as Hindi and Punjabi.
They married on Dec. 12, 2015, not quite 11/2 years after meeting, and say they’re as happy as can be at how everything turned out. Well, except for a little bit of nerves in anticipation of finding out how they come off when “Arranged” debuts.
Thakarar says his new father-in-law put it wisely when they talked about the pros and cons of sharing their personal story with a TV audience.
“Just so you know, Maneka’s dad probably loves his wife more than anyone I know,” Thakarar says. “He said, ‘You know what? If I could go back and pay a million dollars and have all this footage of when I met (my wife) I’d pay 10 times that amount today.
“That’s what we’re looking forward to,” Thakarar says. “Watching this with our kids when we’re older. It’s a piece of our lives.”
1 Comment
Hindi is not an area of India… Its a religion.