New study breaks down what attracts men and women to each other.
By Raif Karerat
WASHINGTON, DC: Academic researchers from Stanford University and the University of California at Santa Barbara have compiled a 55-page study that dissects what people say on successful dates versus not-so-successful ones.
According to The Washington Post:
To carry out their study, the researchers ran free speed-dating events for heterosexual grad students in which they recorded what everyone said. After the date, the grad students reported how well they “clicked” with their partners for roughly 1,000 four-minute conversations. The researchers found that physical and character traits, like men’s height and shared hobbies, actually had a larger influence on whether couples said they clicked than what they said to each other.
With each additional minute the couple spent together, things like height and shared hobbies became less important and the flow of their conversation became more important, reported the newspaper.
The data indicated women were more likely to enjoy the company of a man when he laughed with them instead of making fun of their laugh, asked questions to show they were paying attention, said positive or flattering things, and used the word “you.”
Men reportedly felt less connected when women used phrases like, “kind of,” “sort of,” and “maybe.” Conversely, stated they felt a connection when women talked about themselves, using words like “I,” “me,” and “myself.”
Women who felt connected to their dates talked more about themselves. They also spoke at a higher pitch — basically, adopting a more feminine voice — and varied their pitch and volume, practices that reflect their excitement and interest in the conversation.
Men who felt a connection were more likely to laugh and vary their volume. They were less likely to vary their pitch, which the researchers say reflects an attempt to put on a more masculine voice.