You better be pretty enough to work in Trump’s America.
By Sujeet Rajan
NEW YORK: It’s difficult to figure out Donald Trump. Why is he running for president, really? At his age, 69, with the billions he has stashed away, he should be looking for some peace of mind after years of turmoil he encountered making that money. Why would he want to work for 20 crazy hours a day, at a thankless job, with no salary – as he has announced. Is he a modern capitalist-turned-seer, who wants to bestow himself to public service, bring harmony to America and the world?
Is it that Trump is stuck in a position that he never expected to be in, but was just pandering to his ego, to perhaps remember 10 years from now, that he did indeed try to become the president of the United States of America. It was a huge moment for him – instead of crying ‘wolf’ all the time?
Is it that after so many times ‘threatening’ to run for president, backing off – getting free, lucrative publicity for him and his business brands each presidential cycle – Trump finally pitched in, only to find that it’s a rabbit hole, with no escape; neither for him, nor for the people of America.
For the voters of America, the big conundrum is, and very much the 800 pound gorilla in the room, what happens if they don’t vote Trump to power, come November next year (of course, this column is built on the premise that Trump is the GOP nominee for the White House)?
Won’t the voters always wonder what would have it been like living in the land of President Trump instead of President Hillary Clinton or President Bernie Sanders? What glories lay ahead, as domestic growth shoots up, makes real estate and stock prices go Vroom!? What global triumphs were around the corner? How many wars would America win, with veterans cheering on? The wonder of watching each and every member of ISIS blown to smithereens. Iran crippled, North Korea vanquished – both nuke-freed. The world saved from perdition. Taliban respecting women – well, maybe not, after all, that’s something Trump doesn’t care so much after all, unless the woman is pretty enough to model for Victoria’s Secret.
Don’t voters want to watch with relish how Putin kisses Trump’s hand in relief after America crushes Russia diplomatically and militarily on the global stage? How China kowtows to trade deals, forgive trillions of debt after they see the awesome potential of Trump and his samurai powers?
A relieved India would host Trump, his wife, ex-wives and children for a month at the Rashtrapati Bhavan; PM Narendra Modi would allow him to buy the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel in Mumbai (in tacit understanding with Ratan Tata), rename it the Trump Gateway; give Trump permits without any red tape to build all the golf courses he wants in the Chambal, for the sake of letting some H-1B visa workers continue to work and remit money back home, not be deported. Trump would no doubt be generous: allow Modi some free nights at his Trump Taj Mahal Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, with all you can eat buffet thrown in.
Won’t America’s middle class voters squirm in discomfort and get sleepless nights if they don’t know and get to realize the humungous tax breaks in the offing, that would have made most people feel like millionaires come every year the day of filing taxes? How will people be able to live with their miserable selves if they don’t see Obamacare and Planned Parenthood banished from the face of the Earth under Trump’s grand vision to make America great again?
Of course, some filthy rich hedge fund guys would have moved to Canada or the Caribbean by then; the Hamptons would turn into a tourist spot, with museums dedicated to the lives of once-upon-a-time rich brokers and their fabulous lifestyles, before circa January, 2017.
The black people living in ghettos in inner cities can’t perhaps wait for their neighborhoods to be transformed by President Donald Trump into havens for beauty pageants, with black girls vying for tiaras as much as the blond, blue-eyed girls. The wannabe rap stars would no doubt try to get jobs through the Apprentice. The era of drug pushers will come to end, as will most of the vaccines for children.
But perhaps, most importantly, and why most voters seem to like Trump is the idea of him belligerently giving orders on the first day of office to throw out all the scum from America (read that as illegal aliens). To finally revel in a white nation living once again a quality of white life not seen for generations.
What relief! What peace of mind! To see day after day on TV – some people might retire early in life just to watch this 24X7 with total glee – binge watching on Netflix and Hulu might perish – or want to quit their jobs and join instead the Border Patrol and the Immigration and Customs Enforcement – to see this marvel of modern reverse migration. Indians like to call it reverse brain drain.
Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper of CNN most probably would shift permanently to Arizona and report non-stop from the border as this story, good for years to come, would beat even the vanished plane story – families being deported by the thousands day after day is after all a spectacle no less spectacular than conjuring up visions through experts talking of how anguished people must have been as they plunged to their death.
America is great at covering tragedies. Each and every life is precious, unlike say in India, where probably a few thousand people died in some natural disaster yesterday and the mainstream newspapers covered instead Saina Nehwal meeting Shahrukh Khan, with introspection thrown in. Some tragedies are just meant to be shrugged off. Life goes on.
But not America. As the scum of the earth are dragged, wrenched, caught, handcuffed in malls and toilets, in the middle of the night in homes and hospitals, put onto buses and trains, children wailing as their mothers are shoved roughly into waiting deportations vans, America will become great again.
And the Wall! That piece of modern architectural marvel which will put the Great Wall of China to shame. The one that Trump has promised will look like a real wall, not a fence, to keep all deviants from Mexico out for ever. America can’t wait to see that. Mexico has already applied for a World Bank loan to pay for the wall, will give free Corona beers to all workers. Detention centers and private prison owners in America are already bidding privately to build personal watchtowers every few feet on top of that wall, as a hot tourist attraction, extra for rifles. After all, what are they going to do once all the prisons and detention centers are empty? Is the safari business in Africa going to suffer? Maybe, but lions may be safer.
But here’s the thing: the modern-day pogrom of deportation and uprooting won’t just stop for illegal aliens.
You, yes, you with the brown face, and the nice job living in the nice suburbs. Be ready to face hostility too. In Trump’s America, who knows, who will be traumatized, teased and threatened; come tantalizingly close to being savaged, and humiliated?
The Ku Klux Klan are walking around today in suits, but they won’t mind donning their white gear once again, under the cover of darkness, to prove a point. In Trump’s America, ethnic cleansing will assume a modern avatar. Maybe some killings here and there will occur, mostly of Sikhs. But is that so important? That happened after 9/11 too.
You, yes you, with the brown face. Are you handsome enough to get voted to the Board? You, madam, yes, you with the brown face, are you pretty enough to get the school teacher’s job in a class which has only white kids? Note for immigrants: it’s OK for President Donald Trump to call your mother, wife, sister and daughter an ugly woman. It’s his prerogative. It’s up to her to change her appearance. An inspiration is Carly Fiorina, who turned beautiful in a few days’ time. Did she do cosmetic surgery?
You there, doing that namaz in the local mosque, forget it. Convert to Christianity. Or at least be ready with your birther certificate. Ahmed Mohamed, get ready to move to Sudan with your parents. Making anything with wires and electronics might soon be banned for Muslims.
Trump is coming, in 2016.
How will America know its greatness until it really votes for Trump?
(Sujeet Rajan is Editor-in-Chief, The American Bazaar)
(This column was revised with the addition of a paragraph)
11 Comments
I really hope Trump will become president. He is America’s only and real hope for the normal future.
You are simply a “Race Baitor”.
Try putting some thought into it.
American’s are hurting because of the high value of our dollar relative to other currencies.
We hear the bologne all the time, Americans aren’t graduating enough STEM grads, we are lazy and won’t work 24×7, we hear all the bologne, and then get fed up with it.
When the reality is, yes in Mexico, India and China you do need government permission to buy property or business, because foreigners are barred from most if not all direct investment. This keeps down the value of the local currency in these countries low. It limits foreign investment. It gives people the false perception that the natives are in control of the economy. Trump can’t change India or China, he knows it. And BTW, I could care less if other countries limit foreign direct investment, I say go ahead, stay poor.
But we can’t let the policies of other countries damage our economy.
We can’t let our H-1b system, be the on the job training program for the world, for the sake of moving jobs overseas.
Half of all U.S. STEM graduates never find a job in a STEM field after 5 years of looking. That staggering statistic is enough to make you start thinking, what the heck is going on?
When that electical engineer in Texas could not find a job, in a state filled with electronic companies, because companies were instead turning to people coming in on an H-1b visa.
You need to realize that the problem isn’t with American workers, it is with the fact that other countries will do anything, including risking high inflation by deliberately keeping the value of their currency low, in order to increase the employment prospects for their citizens.
The U.S. must do the same.
Because we are running 400+ billion dollars year Federal Deficit, precisely because of the jobless recovery in the United States.
And the 2 trillion we spent on wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, are a direct result of our failed immigration system, weak/slow investigations by the FBI of people in that system… Hey, Trump is what you get when you are losing. Trump, at least, has a record of doing everything he can to save (then grow) his businesses. Businessmen are like that, politicians on the other hand are slow, example being Hillary on Libya and the killing of our diplomats.
The current policies are not working. We need to face what is really causing problems for the United States. If we bring in foreign workers, we need them to be creating jobs in the United States. Instead the current policy is to allow Offshore Outsourcing companies to get two thirds of the H-1b visas, and use them to get Americans to train their foreign worker replacements, then move the whole department overseas.
Brilliant, biting, hilarious, vicious, satirical essay! Bravo. But I would like to note that Donald Trump has done American politics a great service. He has given the lie to the myth that it is America’s politicians who give America a bad name. Now we see who really lives in America and it is not a pretty picture. Of course, that is not to paint every American with Trump’s colors. It should also give political science the opportunity to understand how easy it is to manipulate our species. A racially and ethnically divided population with a democratically elected government and a rule of law which favors capital over labor and greed over the commonwealth is inherently unstable. The future with or without Trump looks rather bleak.
the difference between unlawful and illegal is one is against the law, the other you have to be caught. We have the laws but will not apply them. It has caused a festering wound like all the other festering wounds and only when someone screams does anything get done and often the incorrect way which makes it look like it is fixed but only festers more.
Trump is not only dangerous to illegal immigrants; he is a proven danger to all immigrants. He has already inspired hate crimes and is sure to inspire more. This creates a situation that is harmful to all Americans. He knows this and doesn’t care; so long as his incredible ego is soothed.
Trumps wife now and his first wife were immigrants, and he married them for their looks, just like everybody else. As far as I know, nobody marries somebody whose looks they can’t stand. And looks are subjective. What’s hot in India, might not be in Iceland – and vice versa.
Your conclusions are all wrong because they aren’t based on the entire picture of events. This is the problem with the left, they jump on things too quickly and proclaim it a fact with bias, then move on to the next “scandal” or “crisis”.
why is it that liberals cannot use the word Illegal???
The answer is yes if your illegal.
“you’re”, C’mon, tighten it up!
lol – thanks