Like England, Pakistan ‘shocked and awed’.
By Sujeet Rajan
If England’s internal report card after their abysmal showing against New Zealand must have read: ‘Shocked and awed’, borrowing from the 1996 military doctrine by Harlan Ullman and James Wade, and made more popular in recent times by the carnage in Baghdad, then Pakistan’s memo going around today after their dismantling by the West Indies would have added “misery’ to boot.
It was a kick-ass performance by the West Indies, rebounding back smartly after their defeat to Ireland. It was a kick-ass performance by the Pak team too, as in kicking their fans in the butt to get up from their seats and walk out of the stadium/room, to burn a bonfire of effigies of the stalwarts of their team in the backyard, or smash some TVs, whichever takes fancy for the day; if the TV is still around after the defeat to India that is.
The deplorable performance of the Pakistan team, losing by 150 runs – collapsing to 160 all out in 39 overs, to the Windies’ well-paced 310/6, at the Hagley Oval in Christchurch, was also a kick to the throats of their fans, muting them perhaps for the rest of the tournament, embarrassed them to the point of perhaps switching over to watching baseball or rugby – at least it doesn’t hurt emotionally, scar psychologically, or give toothache from unstoppable gnashing.
The next match against Zimbabwe looms large as another opportunity for Pakistan and their fans to suffer further humiliation.
In England’s case, it was wrecked by the immaculate swing bowling of Tim Southee, and then knocked and hurled out of the ‘ring’ by Brendon McCullum, who by the time he had finished his mayhem, assumed the proportions of a combination of Mike Tyson and The Undertaker.
In Pakistan’s case, the defeat to India seemed to be a big mental factor too, going into the match against the Windies. Their body language was sluggish to the point of being sloppy, missing umpteen catches, and displaying poor fielding to draw guffaws from the crowd. They won the toss, but then decided to put the Windies in, despite a poor record chasing totals anywhere close to 300. Given the Windies’ batting prowess, a good batting track, and going in with only four specialist bowlers, it was a strange decision.
The aging batsmen in the Pak team also ensure that the likes of the 7-feet tall Mohammad Irfan are sent out to the deep to do the most running and panting – futile in many instances in cutting off the ball and adding to the opposition tally, while players like Younis Khan, Shahid Afridi, and captain Misbah-ul-Haq, try and save energy with least exertion in the field, for the batting part of the match. The overworked Irfan did his primary job well enough though, turning out to be the most economical bowler for his side, conceding only 44 runs in his 10 overs, and getting the wicket of Gayle.
Pakistan managed for the most part to keep moderate check on the Windies batsmen, but Andre Russell broke free in the last three overs in McCullum style with a savage 42 off 13 balls, peppered with 3 fours and 4 sixes. He would have wished he had half an over more to play, as he had a great chance to break the fastest 50 record ever in an ODI, if he had managed to get to the mark in another two deliveries.
Russell, however, had the consolation of taking three wickets too, and winning the man of the match award.
It was, however, Pakistan’s batting, which would have made even the English feel slightly better, and go for a stroll outside, after perhaps locking themselves in their rooms after their massacre against New Zealand.
At one stage, Pakistan had the confounding scoreboard of 4-1 after 3.1 overs. Their top 5 batsmen had scores of 0, 1, 0, 0, 7. Maybe that’s the number to call James Bond, when in distress. But this was no espionage story. It was cricket debacle happening in real time.
Umar Akmal, doubling up as wicket-keeper, and perhaps the quietest bloke donning gloves behind the wickets in this World Cup – no doubt given mind-numbing instructions before every match by the team management on how not to appeal after every speck of dust gets into his eyes, or better still just shut up – top scored with 59, but then go into the old Pakistani habit learnt from playing against India: implosion.
Akmal’s comrade Shahid Afridi again disappointed, much to the chagrin of his fans around the world, who may rather send him a get well soon card for his 35th birthday next Sunday.