Signs of the Valley.
SAN FRANCISCO: Last year, KQED (the local radio station) hosted a call-in show where listeners were asked to finish the sentence, ‘You know you’re in Silicon Valley when…’
Callers came up with nuggets that defined Silicon Valley lifestyle, like:
- Driving on the 101 freeway in traffic, the guy next to you is Larry Ellison.
- 700,000 dollars buys half a house.
- Your 2nd grader borrows books from the library titled “Learning Perl” or “Ruby on Rails for Dummies”.
- The menu card at the café boasts: service faster than an Intel processor.
This inspired me to create a list of my own, based on quotes from friends, random people and my own interpretations, with an added dash of desi masala.
Without further ado,
You know you’re in silicon des when…
*In the event of an earthquake in the middle of the night, you put your fallen picture frames back on the wall and go back to bed.
*You find Bharath Fashions, Patel Groceries, Kadai Cafe…all on one street: you hit Panda Express, you’ve gone too far.
*When people talk of seed stage, you do not look at their flowerbed.
*When you reveal that your child isn’t placed in accelerated math, there’s an awkward pause in the conversation.
*Your Caucasian neighbor can distinguish between the smell of your Indian cooking and the Korean cooking next door.
*You see a Maserati parked right next to a homeless cart.
*The logos on shirts usually say, Google, SAP, Yahoo.
*When your kid goes on a fieldtrip, it is to the Intel Museum.
*Angels bring capital, not messages from God.
*You get your kicks by stumping the staff at FRY’S and Apple stores by asking obscure questions about their gadgets.
*You will concede your office space to your co-worker, but not the company laptop.
*When you cannot come up with your own tech idea, eavesdrop at Starbucks.
*You laugh at the science jokes in the Big Bang Theory.
*Everyone surfs, not necessarily in the sea.
*Your parents have pictures of them posing in front of the giant Google sign from their last visit.
*The worst traffic congestion in any residential area is at the Kumon parking lot.
*For men between the age of 25 and 50, a black turtleneck is an essential part of the wardrobe.
*The Apple store gets more visitors than Disneyland (seriously, this is an actual news headline).
*Your gamer buddy who dropped high school just made millions with his new game app.
(Zenobia Khaleel has donned a lot of hats; writer, photographer, travel enthusiast, troop leader, amateur actor, event coordinator, community volunteer, but predominantly goes by the title Mom.)
To contact the author, e-mail: zenobiakhaleel@americanbazaaronline.com